Whats so wrong with Me?

better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all? ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!!! does anyone actually agree with this statement. maybe after a while after closure is found there comes a peace and maybe and THATS A BIG MAYBE that can be true. but you can only have your heart broken so many times before you start to think maybe its easier just not to love at all. but on the other hand i cant help but wonder what it is about me that keeps chasing the men i love away. that makes them cheat, that makes them fall out of love with me THAT MAKES THEM LEAVE! i mean im sure that every woman who's expeirenced heart break has felt this way but i mean seriously HISTORY REPEATS ITS SELF for me. same type of guy. a "good decent {or so i think}" guy and then they just arent anymore. maybe its just because i give too many chances and give my entire heart and soul and expect them not to crush it in there hands. but they do. so here's the deal. NO MORE EX's i refuse to visit "doors ive already walked through" time for new door. but not anytime soon. last night i had a moment of weakness and found my self lonely and wanting SOME ONE. but this morning i woke up with a clear head and realized after seeing on my dads facebook the story about charlie just how good god is. he will help me find love when he feels like the time is right for me. i will try and have faith that he will give me strength to get me through till then. ugh life as a grown up is complicated!