list of things that get me through days like today...
(1) MY KIDS *Duh! (2) Coffee (3) Music (4) Family (5) 200 text messages between friends
(1) Waking up in the morning is bitter sweet for me. I get at the most 5 hours of sleep a night so i wake up exhausted. and not because my infant doesn't sleep through the night because he does (except one wake up at 430am) but normally he sleeps 730p-930a. Its just everything that's going on in my life keeps my mind going a million miles per minute till i eventually pass out. so when i wake up in the morning i don't wanna get out of bed. (that's the bitter part) the sweet part is the smiles and giggles that i get the second i walk into charlie's room, its amazing and its all for me :) the way his eyes light up within a second of our eyes meeting its almost magical like love at first sight every morning. then we get about 30 minutes of just mommy and charlie time till sissy meets us in the living room for our morning cartoons (at least until she starts school at the end of the month) I LOVE THEM.
(2) Uhm i think thats pretty self explanatory lol. i don't have coffee every morning just the mornings i need a kick start. up until charlie was like 5 months old every single morning it was a 5 hour energy and 2 red bulls which i may take up again because coffee just aint doing it.
(3) Everyday while the kids are busy watching
Disney channel, nick
jr or sprout
I'm cleaning or on good days relaxing on the couch with one ear phone in (cant hear the kids with two
lol) what do i listen to?
EVERYTHING...except folk
lol or blue grass. Right now my favorite song is
Barefoot Blue Jean Night but i
don't know why i just like it A LOT
lol reminds me of my youth maybe? who knows...any who
I LOVE MUSIC it makes me happy!
(4) Even though they are all more then 2,500 miles away i know that my family is very supportive and always just a phone call away. ya we fight (mostly me and my siblings) but no matter how pissed off we are at each other we always know we can turn to each other ya we judge but its because we want the best for each other. either way between my children and family give me all the strength i need.
(5) No Joke. On average its about 200 text messages a day. I have a select few Amazing
friends. They let me vent and give me awesome advice and re assure me that i can do anything i set my mind to. Mostly i have guy friends but all of them are amazing and the few gal friends i have have been with me through it all. I'm also renewing old friendships with some amazing people
I've known sense child hood and that makes me happy :)
all in all , all i have to do is breath in and breath out, put one foot in front of the other and keep on going. and all these things and people *other then coffee lol* inspire me to do so. today will be a good day as long as my kids are healthy and happy i know that i did a good job today!
** theres a comment box in the right column for those without google.
and a damn good one. she loves playing hopefully this is something she can stick to through out her adolecense. she's a great kid minus needing an attitude adjustment but i mean really i dont this she's doing that bad for a kid who has only seen her father a good 5 months tops in the last 2 1/2 years. charlie is over 18months and started walking new years day. he is full of happiness and wonder. in fact his catch phrase... "what is that?" he wants to know what EVERYTHING is lol it is too cute. my kids are amazing. happy and healthy and i like to think thats because...wait for it... IM HAPPY!
and i have been for a while. it took me a while to get to a place where i was ok with the divorce and wasnt holding on anymore but when i finally let that go the most amazing thing happened to me. I FELL IN LOVE! 
yep thats right IN LOVE. i met him over 3 years ago and through my sisters. he is everything i could ever hope for. its been a rocky ride getting to where we are but its the easiest thing iv ever done : loving this man. we starting dating in december and with that very awkward yet amazing first kiss it was all over with. and now we are the most perfectly imperfect little family. he has a little boy who is just as amazing as my two kids so he fits in perfect and we are just .... PERFECT. life is good and i see it getting better and better with every day that passes. i have never in my life been able to look a man and been able to tell that he loves me but the way he looks at me....AMAZING. & he loves the kids. he's willing to step up and fill that void that there dad has left (that is not me talking crap about their father he just hasnt seen them sense august 22nd and thats not just because of his military carreer) any who... WE ARE HAPPY! LIFE IS GOOD & ITs ONLY GETTING BETTER :) Write more soon.
